Blog - Daniel Figueiredo - Psicologia & Psicoterapia

Psychotherapy today – An opening to (re)creation

Psychotherapy is, first and foremost, a method/process of treatment for adverse conditions, difficulties and problems of a mental, emotional and psychosocial nature. People often seek help driven by worrying symptoms and/or crisis situations (such as depression, anxiety, loss of self-esteem or interpersonal conflicts). Thus, psychotherapy aims to provide a deeper understanding of difficulties, suffering and the context in which they arise, as well as their resolution (or acceptance of what we cannot change, in order to deal with these conditions with less suffering).

This resolution involves developing more adaptive responses to the vicissitudes of life that triggered the crisis (as Einstein states, we cannot solve problems with the same solutions that created them); it also assumes the development of a more adaptive range of responses to future life situations, taking advantage of current difficulties to promote learning and development, useful for other eventualities, in order to avoid dependence on professional help.

Since life is multidimensional, multifaceted, unpredictable and diverse, this resolution implies the development of greater flexibility and adaptability, the ability to find diverse solutions, as well as a varied and articulated defense system. This presupposes emerging in openness to discovery, to the new, to (re)inventing oneself, to experience, to challenge and to the creativity that is constantly renewed and renewing the plot of life, so that it is not just a woven life. Although psychotherapy emerges as a response to problems and psychopathology, its purpose is broader and more comprehensive since it is closely linked to mental health.

Mental health is not merely the absence of disease/symptoms; it concerns the entirety of the human being, all dimensions of his or her life, including self-realization and the capacity to produce within society; it ultimately implies an existence with personal meaning, well-being with oneself and in relation to others. This demand for satisfaction and a life with meaning can be observed in today's society, which offers a wide range of choices and opportunities dedicated to well-being, such as sports, yoga and spas. In this regard, it is also worth highlighting all the opportunities for travel, providing the most varied cultural and leisure experiences in any part of the world. Today, we can enjoy all these possibilities according to our choices and preferences, since we live in a society that values and encourages development and progress, with personal enrichment in the multiple dimensions of existence being an epitome of the contemporary cosmopolitan Man.

In this context, psychotherapy stands out as a process of personal development, not only as a method of treatment in crisis situations. We can enjoy all the advantages of evolution, the most sophisticated resources, we can travel, do sports, have a healthy diet, but if we are unable to understand and transform our internal/emotional world, we will not have a good quality of life and may even become ill. We can have a dream home and live unhappily in it. Psychotherapy therefore aims to (re)build our inner home, which we want with solid foundations and wide windows. It is a reconstruction of the self and of the self with others, since human beings are social and relational beings.

Given the broad purpose of psychotherapy, it implies a deepening of self-knowledge; only this makes it possible to resolve symptoms and problems in an enlightened manner, as well as to promote development. This broad and profound awareness of oneself and one's history, in which unconscious patterns and processes become conscious so that they can be transformed and become more malleable, can only occur in a relationship of trust, in which existence can be thought of as a couple. Psychotherapy is, therefore, a meeting between two specialists – the patient, an expert in himself, in his own life, and the therapist, an expert in mental processes, but also endowed with his personality, with the human sensitivity that enables the bond and security necessary to explore the most difficult and challenging intricacies of the unconscious. Therefore, in addition to the essential technical and scientific knowledge, sensitivity and personal style are important, the relationship that is (co)constructed – therapy is a union of science and art.

In poetic synthesis, we think of psychotherapy as a meeting place where, in safety, a comprehensive and transformative relationship can be developed and built, where it is possible to (trust) a journey through the inner world, through personal history, (re)discovering and integrating the different parts of oneself... Traveling to such depths is also cultivating the ability to dream and play, reinventing the Self, discovering the creative and creative potential that lies within us, and which, continually nourished in the new relationship, dreamed of and understood in it, is replanted and expanded. In this encounter, marked by unconditional acceptance and understanding, the possibility of a more authentic expression and sharing of the totality of the being arises, becoming freer to (re)know oneself and to relate genuinely, freer to find oneself and, in the encounter with oneself, to find the other as well.

Daniel Figueiredo

Psicólogo clínico, Psicoterapeuta, Membro da SPPC

Why do we desire the inaccessible?

We are often fascinated by the most diverse objects of desire, whether they are clothes, holiday destinations or other consumer goods. Very often, we are captivated by an inexplicable fascination with the inaccessible – the car we cannot afford, that dream house that would take us to another level, that person we admire on social media but deep down we do not want to meet. Sometimes, the forbidden relationship with a committed person seems so much more interesting than everything else, the promise of salvation – the forbidden fruit is the most desired. Then there is that course we will never take, leaving us dreaming of a revolutionary career change…

These successive postponements allow us to feed fantasies of imaginary completeness, of how everything will then be perfect and complete, in an expectation of plenitude, free from frustration. According to Laca, object to, the object of fantasy, results from the trail of an imaginary primordial satisfaction, to which the subject always tries to return. Satisfaction never happens because the lack is constitutional, there is no complete satisfaction. Just as there is no representation or complete understanding – every symbol is partial, every representation of oneself betrays oneself, however complete it may be, it is always an approximation, something escapes and slips away. This lack tends to be refused and covered up by a fantasy of completeness that can only be sustained at a certain distance from the object of its realization, because once the desire is realized, the lack and the need to deal with it are reaffirmed. Often the subject boycotts what he most desires so as not to lose it. In this way, we keep our fantastic projects on a horizon of postponed possibility, we just can't realize them so as not to lose the fantasy, so as not to "find the mismatch".

This fantasy state of completeness is artificial and empty, devoid of fulfillment, of authentic encounter with oneself and with others, of confrontation with life that presupposes the risk of living. We become numb, fantasy becomes a kind of legal drug for the masses of a society in which everything is available and open – it seems that we cannot commit ourselves or create bonds, so as not to lose anything. However, we end up losing out of fear of losing – it is through our choices and commitments that we create bonds, that we leave the mark of our existence, of our identity. Choosing is being able to lose things in order to gain others, others that mean something. If when I choose one thing among 10 the only certainty I have is that I have lost 9, I will always be in search of the slippery, of what escapes, of what fades away, I only value it when I do not have it. When I can lose and let go, accepting lack and incompleteness, I can take responsibility for my personal choice, build connections with the other as they are, an authentic other and not a fantasy other. An encounter where I find a place for myself as a person and not as a sparkling idea, with a shine to please everyone (and no one in particular). A place that leaves its mark and gives meaning/significance.

Daniel Figueiredo, Psicólogo, Psicoterapeuta, membro da SPPC

Prolonged illness – death in life?

In today's society, we are witnessing an increase in average life expectancy, made possible by technical and scientific progress and the development of health care. This provides a longer life, with better health and possibilities for self-fulfillment, less subject to the misfortunes of life. On the other hand, we are also witnessing an exponential increase in conditions of prolonged illness/death associated with extremely painful ends of life for the elderly and their families. Life is often prolonged without providing dignified conditions, without the person feeling that it still has meaning/purpose and that the suffering is tolerable – suffering and pain that persist despite medication. We are increasingly faced with extreme and prolonged suffering. For example, in people who can no longer walk, are dependent for everything, and suffer permanent pain – the bones wear out, the body withers, the muscles disappear until they no longer have the strength to hold their head up or open their eyes, the person becomes bedridden; it is a slow and painful process, death in life – dying is not for children!

For caregivers, it is very difficult, it is very painful to see our parents in this state, people who are central to our existence, our inner world, our blood. In their loss, we see their loss and our own, which is present and painfully conscious. The patient feels our sadness and we feel theirs, an emotional resonance that screams in the depths of our somatopsychiatry.

For the patient, pain occurs at all levels, physical and mental, and the end approaches with each breath – death, a source of intense anxiety and simultaneously, relief/liberation, terror and pain that are difficult to conceive. It is, however, possible for a feeling of peace to coexist with agony. Peace is not the absence of suffering, but the result of its acceptance. These extreme states imply an immeasurable capacity to accept suffering and the end, a detachment and a detachment from everything, even one’s own identity. There is only the moment, there are no more concepts and prejudices of social class, of success or failure, only the deepest and purest of Being in the naked here and now. For a terminally ill patient who receives a visit from a child they have not seen for years, old disagreements, wealth or poverty, the wrinkles that have creased their faces, the time that remains mean nothing (time no longer matters to those who have no time). It doesn't matter what clothes you're wearing, or what old disappointments you're wearing, because there are no illusions anymore, only Presence. Often there are no words, only Being, the peace of shared pain - the pain of saying goodbye, the pain of those who leave and, by going, come back, become more present within us and transform us; of those who, upon dying, give birth again.

Professional support can be essential in providing support and developing the skills and abilities required to deal with the challenges of these extreme situations, in which we can also learn and find purpose.

Daniel Figueiredo, Psicólogo, Psicoterapeuta, membro da SPPC

The importance of play in development

In today's society, we live in a culture of success – there is a tendency to increasingly emphasize success from a very early age. There is often a desire and pressure for children to be “precocious”, showing great achievements and “skipping stages”. In this context, playing tends to be undervalued as a distraction, a small insignificance or even a waste of time. However, playful activity is fundamental to development and performs a multitude of essential functions. For example, through play and symbolic play, children express and integrate their emotions and conflicts, which is a fundamental activity for emotional development and mental health. It is also through play that children develop their imagination, creativity and organize events in time. Playing and fantasizing create different scenarios, develop the ability to anticipate and plan and, consequently, their thinking and reasoning.

Playing continues to be important throughout life – recreational activities such as dancing or engaging in a creative activity for the pure pleasure of it are examples of things necessary for a healthy and meaningful life. Playing is a very serious thing! As serious as life.

A child who does not play is an adult who does not think, who reproduces previously defined mental schemes and scripts, but does not create new thoughts. There is only thought, creation and life where there is dreaming, fun and play. As Einstein said – “Creativity is intelligence having fun. Play for your health!”

Daniel Figueiredo, Psicólogo, Psicoterapeuta, membro da SPPC

Psychological self-sabotage

Self-sabotage, that is, the tendency to let our desires and projects fail, is a relatively common process in human life. It is neither premeditated nor conscious; if it were, it would be much easier to reverse. It results from complex unconscious processes that need to be understood in depth so that they can be overcome. There are many and varied examples – the people who aspire to success the most are often the ones who sabotage themselves the most, those who fear rejection the most are the ones who provoke it the most…

We highlight, as a mere example, some personalities who aspire to high levels of perfection, with a great tendency towards idealization and a refusal to accept failure. They obstinately engage in a project to improve themselves, others and the world, in search of an extraordinary transformation. However, they tend to withdraw when they are able to bring about the desired transformations, because no real improvement can be compared to the supremacy of the totalitarian ideal – no matter how extraordinary an achievement may be, once it is accomplished, it becomes ordinary. They withdraw so as not to confront the impossibility of the imaginaries to which they aspire. Thus, they enact a repetitive pattern of investment and withdrawal, in which the most disappointing thing may be success – they become disillusioned so as not to become disillusioned.

These processes, however little sense they may make when viewed from the outside, can occur to any of us. No one is indifferent to our unconscious reality. And no one is indifferent to the transformative potential of self-awareness. Don't boycott yourself, take care of yourself!

Daniel Figueiredo, psicólogo, psicoterapeuta, membro da SPPC

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