Self-sabotage, that is, the tendency to let our desires and projects fail, is a relatively common process in human life. It is neither premeditated nor conscious; if it were, it would be much easier to reverse. It results from complex unconscious processes that need to be understood in depth so that they can be overcome. There are many and varied examples – the people who aspire to success the most are often the ones who sabotage themselves the most, those who fear rejection the most are the ones who provoke it the most…
We highlight, as a mere example, some personalities who aspire to high levels of perfection, with a great tendency towards idealization and a refusal to accept failure. They obstinately engage in a project to improve themselves, others and the world, in search of an extraordinary transformation. However, they tend to withdraw when they are able to bring about the desired transformations, because no real improvement can be compared to the supremacy of the totalitarian ideal – no matter how extraordinary an achievement may be, once it is accomplished, it becomes ordinary. They withdraw so as not to confront the impossibility of the imaginaries to which they aspire. Thus, they enact a repetitive pattern of investment and withdrawal, in which the most disappointing thing may be success – they become disillusioned so as not to become disillusioned.
These processes, however little sense they may make when viewed from the outside, can occur to any of us. No one is indifferent to our unconscious reality. And no one is indifferent to the transformative potential of self-awareness. Don't boycott yourself, take care of yourself!
Daniel Figueiredo, psicólogo, psicoterapeuta, membro da SPPC
daniel_figueiredo@live.com.pt || https://danielfigueiredoconsultorio.com/
